maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
