Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
