Do you still have your period?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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