im drinking this country out of the recession.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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