I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
