Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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