so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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