Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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