Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
