Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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