U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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