Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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