i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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