if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
