We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
