What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
