His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
