I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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