So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
