she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
