Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
