i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
