I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
