he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
