3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
