he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
