I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
