Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
