By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
