I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
