oh god the rape fog is back!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
