I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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