Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
