Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
