i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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