Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
