You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
