i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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