His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
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