You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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