U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
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...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
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They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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