I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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