I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
