I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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