I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
