windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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