Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
