I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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