Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
