god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
