i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
