so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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