hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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