between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
