My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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