all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
