shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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