If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
