Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
