Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
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