Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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