If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
