shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
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Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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