when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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