totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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