Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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