Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
