playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Houston, we have a blender
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
