i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
